RP might well be concise, and indeed if it is concise then presumably it is less effort to improve the English!

QUOTE:

Caesar stood on the bank of the Rubicon.
"The die is cast", he said.
All around him, his legions began to cross; marching to overthrow the decrepit Republic.

That's if one cares of course; the problem is not RP posts that are concise, but instead RP posts that are perfunctory. For example, someone wishes to threaten war and so writes something like that below (which is a made up example):

QUOTE:

Your army is disturbing my sleep. Withdraw now!

That kind of thing shows contempt for one's fellow players, in that the writer could not even be bothered to think of anything clever, interesting or beautiful to write, but instead just did the bare minimum. Why bother at all?

Even without improving the English or the conception it is possible to show that one cares, for example by careful attention to consistent formatting, or by the inclusion of an informative image, or by reference to some historical context that one has researched.

RP is a shared creation: as individuals do it well and spark off each other; everyone wins. Far too many of the recent "RP" posts read like something some dull politician would say at a local chook raffle, just because some adviser told him to say it. It is always better to remain silent than to utter such dull rubbish.

And finally it is particularly grating that several of the "writers" share the same pattern of English errors (and I'm not talking about then/than), which seems almost to be an infectious disease. Why not learn from people who can write? such as Qalawun.

Deaglan Artavasdus wrote:

QUOTE:
Why not learn from people who can write? such as Qalawun.

And who says that we don't learn from him?
I for myself read with maximum interest and envy Qalawun's posts, realizing that I would never reach such high standards, but also learn, in the way I learned from other players too, like Daniel.

@Daniel: part of diplomacy RP is correspondence. There is a difference between Knights RP board and Diplomacy board. Since my attention (and time) was directed lately almost exclusive to Diplo board, I tend to ignore the difference.

QUOTE:
@Daniel: part of diplomacy RP is correspondence. There is a difference between Knights RP board and Diplomacy board. Since my attention (and time) was directed lately almost exclusive to Diplo board, I tend to ignore the difference.

I totally agree. And of course correspondence - diplomacy in our case - submits to a total different set of informal rules. Still called RP, of course, and the conciseness is sometimes even expected. My reference was to the rest of the Rp part of the forum - the storytelling part, someone might call it.

@Qalawun: I have never mentioned length as a condition for a fine RP. In my example I was referring the quality of the information provided - either in terms of developing a story, or in terms of describing a situation, a mood, a landscape, something. I'm more inclined in considering a good RP post that post which actually transmits something - to the community, with the specific objective of enriching the players' experience and the degree of fun to be expected. I have serious doubts scratching the back with a brush while bathing, if not combined with something else into the respective context, qualifies. I'm sorry, that how I see it, and there is absolutely no reason for others to share. I was expressing my own opinion.

Daniel the Fortunate wrote:

QUOTE:
I have serious doubts scratching the back with a brush while bathing, if not combined with something else into the respective context, qualifies.

As Daniel the Fortunate sat in his bath, scratching his back with a brush, his squire, watching him, stealthily approached him from behind with a hammer in his hand, then struck a powerful blow to his head. Triumphantly the squire held up his catch: Look, look I got it! It had settled right on the middle of my lord's head. All morning I have been hunting this fly, now I've got it and it can't disturb anyone anymore.

@James - well I very much liked your first ever post, which you have just added to the First Post Club thread (thank you for participating).

The key I think is that we learned quite a lot from it, and clearly considerable thought had gone into constructing the character. No-one can complain about that at all!

QUOTE:
As Daniel the Fortunate sat in his bath, scratching his back with a brush, his squire, watching him, stealthily approached him from behind with a hammer in his hand, then struck a powerful blow to his head. Triumphantly the squire held up his catch: Look, look I got it! It had settled right on the middle of my lord's head. All morning I have been hunting this fly, now I've got it and it can't disturb anyone anymore.

*after gathering his brains from the floor with a wet cloth...

See?! That's exactly what I'm talking about! Well said, I mean... erm... ouch!

QUOTE:

Now, I've noticed a tendency for this thread to get rather silly. Now I do my best to keep things moving along, but I'm not having things getting silly. Those last two posts got very silly indeed, and that one about the bath was even sillier. Now, nobody likes a good laugh more than I do...except perhaps my wife and some of her friends...oh yes and Captain Johnston. Come to think of it most people like a good laugh more than I do. But that's beside the point. Now, let's have a good clean healthy argument. Get some air into your lungs. Ten, nine, eight and all that.

I made many mistakes,sometimes I saw them and correction is carried sometimes dont,sometimes i dont care.

Than,then etc. who cares if everbody understand.

Smelgar said - improving English..why ? if I want to improve english there si a school for that.

And surely I think that is better to write anyhow than not it all.

Mostly people try that material looks on something and it is ok,this is a game,let them have fun.

If they wanna school their english they wouldnt spend here 2 hours daily,they will be in language school.

often people have no time,personaly,i could write better but i dont find it amusing mostly to bother myself about that,no time to spend on carrefull combining,many others too.

some players doesnt write because they are afraid,about language,they afraid about their english ,can you imagine if they hear that someone is not satisfied and wants improved english. no one will try,never!

Or just will say " Improve? What the hell he thinks? Why should i care to learn English,beeeep english, beeeeep yourself mister! Why you dont learn Serbian,Spanish,Norvegian etc."

People dont like to be pushed for something,no matter good intensions.

Well Derg thanks for raising this point, which in fact I was thinking about raising myself.

I think your posts are fine the way they are, let me explain below

Improving the writing (English) is one way in which one might develop, but not the only way.

Other possibilities I noted include:
a) - adding graphics etc into your story
b) - just working on the concepts in the story
c) - or even just taking the time to apply some consistent formatting.
No doubt there are others too, but the key in my view is to show the reader that one cares to provide him with something of value (instead of the used contents of one's bathtub!). In your case, you would meet b) and a), which is more than fine.

I've not reread what I wrote (since this isn't a court of law) but my intention was to advocate improved writing (and in KH RP, this means improved English). Seighin Cumhaill said something like: good writing is a delight, so again if you choose to make the effort to write well then it is another way to show you care about your audience, in addition to those above.

On one thing I'm sure you're wrong: many people are here in part to improve their English. In fact it was only yesterday that one player (whose English is better than many of the native speakers) told me:

QUOTE:
This is what I like about writing on kh - I did not know the word "chagrin"!

I true to improve my German, and eventually I may venture to RH for that purpose.

Deaglan Artavasdus wrote:

QUOTE:
Other possibilities I noted include:
a) - adding graphics etc into your story

I don't do that because it's a great deal of work to find pictures that are truly free of copyright.

@derg38, well no one is forced to improve himself, who does not want to.

But I do know of at least half a dozen German students, who poked their noses in on KH during exams, in hopes of improving their English. Though I must admit, once the motivation of exams was over, many of them left again.